Snowy Flakes and Fruity Cakes
Preview the first track of the Andrew McIlvaney Christmas Album.
Learn more.
1 The Ham Sandwich (Reprise)
1 An Amusing Classroom Anecdote By A. Summers Pertaining To L. Ron Hubbard
Or: “Andrey vs The Ass Mountain”
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Recorded by Andrey Summers.
Music, backing vocals and production by Alastair Craig.
Guest starring Tim Morrison as The Announcer.
0 DARE TO DREAM!!!
Just imagine it… and you can achieve it!
Dare to dream. It’s IN YOUR BLOOD.
The goal is in sight as you RACE AHEAD
to sustainable business success!
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Music video coming soon.
Credits
“Written” and “Performed” by Alastair Craig
“Music” “Composed” on GarageBand “for” iPad.
0 Trial of the Time-Crosser
Standing trial for an unforgivable murder, a polite, well-dressed defendant addresses the jury.
These are the five strange minutes that follow.
Written by Andrey Summers.
Performed by Matt Cornah.
Produced and scored by Alastair Craig.
Listener Warning: The following monologue contains disturbing language and themes. It’s very good, though!
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This recording will not make you laugh. (“So what’s new,” you may ask, and touché.) We’re playing it completely straight, which we’re allowed to do now, and I am all kinds of thrilled to be branching out.
A gigantic, throbbing thank you to Matt Cornah, who responded to “I think you’d make a brilliant child-murdering lunatic” with a remarkably enthusiastic lack of offence. You can - must! - hear more of his talents hyah.
I should also point out that Andrey wrote four years ago, and honestly seems a little horrified by it today. If you’re a Vancouver theatrical investor of a sensitive disposition, please don’t let this stop you giving him the tremendous amounts of money he clearly deserves.
0 Rapper’s Mash (Part One) by Trop Blanc
If there’s one thing The Internet is lacking, it’s exceptionally white mash-ups from even whiter bedroom DJs. Today we tip that harsh balance in a tribute to the timeless words of Sugar Hill Records’ finest.
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Guest starring Tim Morrison in a surprising cameo as The Announcer.
0 Sweet Blimpin’ Suite
This background music (composed for the season one finale of The Vine Audio Programme) covers the full range of human emotion:
- Owning a blimp.
- Losing a blimp.
- Regaining said blimp with trumpets in tow.
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I’m very proud of it. Are you proud of me? Are you even listening, Mum?
0 MacGuffin’s Curse
- A werewolf comedy puzzle adventure for iPad, iPhone, PC and Mac.
- Winner of the Freeplay Award for Best Game Writing.
- Launching April 19 on Steam and soon on the App Store.
A secondary objective of Rubber Chicken Audio is to promote some of the fascinating projects our past and present contributors are now working on. They don’t get much worthier than MacGuffin’s Curse.
This fantastic top-down puzzle game is the brainchild of friend and Rubber Chicken vetaran Ben Kosmina, who has spent a very intense year writing and designing it full-time with indie developer Brawsome. MacGuffin’s Curse combines the logical challenges of old-school Zelda with the comedic dialogue and sidequests of LucasArts point-and-click adventures. It is most rad.
I’m very excited to be joining Ben and Andrew at GDC in San Francisco this March to help promote the game. While I’m far from an objective authority, I can assure you it’s a massive labour of love, an absolute joy to play and filled to the brim with Ben’s trademark manic humour.
If this grabs your interest, please follow MacGuffin’s Curse on Facebook. Indie development is a cutthroat world of tight budgets and two-minute noodles, so every little show of support is sure to be appreciated!
0 The Vine Audio Programme
Assimilated into a parallel universe, Chad, Hyle, Janell and BIDET-52 (their new robot butler pal) embark on a surreal, hilarious and oftentime-traumatic journey from dimension to dimension.
“It’s mediocre post-John-Rhys-Davies Sliders for the podcasting generation!” declare the critics.
The new season of our hotter, sluttier sister series is a fresh start and a great jumping-on point for new listeners.
I’ve neglected the fact that this is about Donkey Kong and Nintendo games. That’s because we actually want you to listen. Think of it as a launching pad for wacky adventures and unrelated comedy, and a subject the hosts are just as keen to avoid.
We’re particularly proud of our Halloween 2011 episode: a slow-burn horror movie in which the hosts debate the scientific impossibility of zombies while boarding up the doors against them. I guarantee you’ll love it. Unless, heaven forbid, you’re put off by coarse language and ten-minute amputation scenes.
0 Introducing Rubber Chicken Audio
Rubber Chicken Audio is either the latest incarnation of a very old website, or a brand new page very loosely based on the last one.
From this point forward, it will be a home for audible waveforms of all shapes and sizes, including our long-running comedy series The Rubber Chicken Podcast, more serious radio dramas, ill-advised experiments in music and whatever jolly well seems like fun on any given Tuesday.
Stick around, won’t you? You’ll only regret it a little.
Comment! Subscribe! ‘Book! Tweet! Tubmbl!
0 Episode 207: Mister Podcast’s Neighbourhood
As ancient terrors from the deep infiltrate sleepy suburbia, Stephen Hawking and Satan debate Bewitched casting. Hardcore Holmes makes the ultimate edgy sacrifice, the inventor of the Time Phone wages an awkward war against himself, and legendary impaler Vlad Tepes takes on his biggest enemy yet: Zoning Bylaws.
Meanwhile, in the writers’ room, the creators of a sketch-comedy podcast embark on a sprawling metafictional odyssey equal parts hilarious, confusing and TERRIFYINGLY APOCALYPTIC.
Big Explosions! Brain-Sucking Monsters! Car Chases! Wailing Guitars! Taxidermy! Awkward, Potentially Homoerotic Domestic Situations! A Ham Sandwich! All this and oh-so-much more in this massive, charmingly convoluted labour of love, two comically on-and-off years in the making.
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Written by
Tim Morrison, Andrey Summers and Alastair Craig
Cast
Andrey Summers, Fiona Revill, Tim Morrison, Alastair Craig, Mister Bung, Ben K, Chris Shadforth, James Simpson, Michael Cope and Gord Myren
Original Music
Taxidermists from a Parallel Universe written and produced by Alastair Craig.
Lead vocals by Christopher Shadforth
Produced by Alastair Craig